Professional commentary. Do not attempt!

December 20, 2008

So I’ve been away for a while – not really away, but out of the public eye, I guess – and for those of you who had a betting pool of what I’ve been up to, here’s the answer:

I’ve been watching television.

OK, that hasn’t really been the core of my activities, but I was out with the flu a week or two ago, and watched more TV than I’d normally consider healthy. I usually watch shows on DVD or other means (cough downloads cough), so I don’t get exposed to as many commercials.

I’ve seen a lot of commercials lately.

So here’s what I noticed: every car commercial, and this happens in a few other industries, but mostly cars at this point, they all have a little disclaimer like “closed set, professional driver, do not attempt” even if the car’s just driving down the street.

Meanwhile, I can watch any number of fast food commercials, and I don’t see anything like that. Where’s the “professional stunt person” disclaimer on, say, Maple Leaf Foods’ ads? They’re the guys who had a huge listeria outbreak this year that killed 20 some-odd people. We’ve got deaths and illnesses related directly to a product, which is more than what happens in a basic car commercial (people driving like jackasses cause accidents, but the cars themselves are pretty simple machines), and people can eat these foods on camera without any worry from legal?

That’s weird.

I know we don’t get a lot of TV airtime for vegan advocacy, but I’d love to see one that’s for a fake fast food or meat company, and make everything look legit, except for the new disclaimer that shows up at the bottom throughout the spot. I know, ads for a fake company are probably fraud, but maybe we can find one that’s on its way out, owned by someone who’s gone crazy from eating so much beef over the years and merge with them.

Or hey, isn’t the internet supposed to make everything accessible to everyone and give everyone a voice? How about one of you, or a few of you, get together and put something up on YouTube? My birthday’s in April, so you’ve got plenty of time.

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